Everything and Nothing

Book: Awakening

2008-11-05T22:59:00.000-08:00

I've never had a thousand pound elephant sit on my head. One morning I woke up fully expecting a face full of wrinkly elephant hyde to accompany a thousand pound headache dancing around in my skull. What circumstances brought on this unfortunate condition? Not drink, surprisingly enough. No, that would be far too lackluster a beginning to a story as unbelievable as the one I am about to unfold. To keep this story authentic I must tell it as I remember it, and it was not until later that I would remember the origins and the events that precluded the headache I am describing.

I was draped over a doggy door stomach down, face flat on white and tan kitchen linoleum; a rather awkward position I would not recommend maintaining for more than a few seconds. Folded in half as I was, the blood in my body was sloshing around in my toes and my eyeballs and I was not about to put weight on or look out of either until I had curled in on myself, coughed out a syrupy mess of liquid and let out a few surprisingly satisfying groans. I could not fully realize the source of said discomfort at the time, only that I was feeling alot of it... and it wasn't going away.

An inner monologue kicked in. It seemed I had to convince my brain to tell my body what to do. Step one, pull your face off the floor. My brain responded, my body strained, but my face would not rise. I gave up quickly as each attempt triggered a hammerblow to the back of my head. Instinctively switching strategies, I convinced my brain to focus my weight onto my feet and legs, groaning again as the doggy door slid across my belly and shoved my organs up into my lungs. Like a seesaw, my torso was forced to rise and my face came off the floor with an audible slurp. The rest was all physics, I could do nothing to prevent myself from tumbling bonelessly backwards off the doggy door and onto my mercifully carpeted floor.

All I could hear was thumping in my ears. My heart kicked into overtime, attempting to spread the blood back into my deprived and unfeeling body. It felt like electricy rather than blood was coursing through my veins, starting as minor senstation and growing into pulses of searing pain that made me horribly aware of the length and breadth of my cursed body. I felt my mouth open and God only knows what sound squeezed through my lips as limbs took on a will of their own, curling in tightly like a dying spider, futilely attempting to escape the throbbing pain. I don't know how long I lay there on the ground, but eventually, the pain began to ebb and the thumping reduced to a bearable din. My brain began to regroup and started asking some questions.

What happened? Where am I? Who is still hitting me on the back of the head with a hammer? I was panting heavilly and I could feel the dryness in my mouth and throat so I closed my mouth with the intent to garner some moisture and swallow. I worked my tongue to aid the process and some moisture began to form. Along with the moisture came the distinct taste of blood. Panting again I tried to roll flat onto my back and bring my hands up to soothe my aching skull. My face was covered in a thick substance, dry in some places, sticky in others, that hardly moved as I rubbed my throbbing eyes. Peeling them open I squinted around me. A peach. It took a moment, but I realized peach was the color that covered walls. Familiar peach, like the color of my walls. Like the walls that rose up on either side of me and seamed into a bumpy textured roof with a peach seed, or rather, a brown ceiling fan dropping in and out of focus. Down by my feet was the doggy door and beyond that, a kitchen. My kitchen. I could barely see the telltale brown of my washed out counters and cabinets, faded from steaming rice and stained from oft spilled liquids that had been left to sit too long. To further verify my surroundings I groaned and rolled to the side, lolling my head back for a look at the wall behind me. As expected my front door loomed into view a few yards away, the dents of a wayward golf club in drunken hands clearly marking the barrier as my own. Home sweet home.

Somewhat relieved, with eyes tightly shut to the pain I completed the roll to my stomach and searched around to my right with a shaking arm. In a couple of gropes I found the rim of my bedroom door and floundered for a solid grip on the thin strip of wood. With a great heave I pulled myself up onto hands and knees, groaning as the altitude change again assaulted my brain and shifted my blood. But the headache was turning to dizziness and my circulation was finding it's equilibrium. My thoughts on the other hand, were reeling, trying to find a purchase on something. I need to find some water. What is that clinking sound? Why is it so dim in here? I think two of the three ceiling fan lights are burnt out. At that point, I must have chosen my first thought as a focus, I remember being desperately thirsty. Turning slowly on hands and knees I made my way towards the doggy door. Where the hell was the dog, anyway? Dante should have made an appearance by now, his tongue never seemed to miss anything that came down below human knee level. How could Dante have let the limp form of his master straddle the doggy door all night without some whines for attention and a nudge or fifty. Could I really have ignored all that?

Struggling with the latch, the doggy door finally released from it's wedged position. I bounced the door aside awkwardly and plowed through, stumbling to the edge of the linoleum as I went up onto knees only and fell against the corner of the wall. The left turn that would take me to the bathroom and the water I so desperately craved was right in front of me! My body started to naturally go into a practiced rythym as I moved off the wall, evidently remembering the path I had stumbed on late drunken nights or early hung over mornings. Walking on my knees I made it to the bathroom door and leaned to grasp the door handle, using it to support my weight. The door was already open a crack and unexpectedly swung wide, banging hard against the door jamb with my full weight of force upon it and leaving me panting and stretched along it's breadth. Levering myself I rose to a stand, then flung myself over the counter and threw on the faucet.

The feeling of the water was pure and cool on my fingers. My body melted towards the touch of that thick, smooth water from the moment it caressed my fingertips. A primal groan sagged me against the counter. Suddenly steady hands cuppped the water and eased it upwards as I lowered my face, rubbing, scrubbing and rinsing away the thickness. Parched lips found refuge and sucked up the water hungrily, gorging with complete satisfaction. Nimble fingers were there as well, massaging away the tesion behind my skin and trying to coax my eyes out from their painful retreat. Taking deep breaths, the liquid dripped from my face into the sink. I felt as if some semblance of myself had been returned to me. My eyes opened tentatively and blinked away the wetness. The sink was covered in blood.

My eyes shot up to the mirror. Thin rivulets of blood and water dripped from my now slicked hair, streaking down my face and dropping to the white basin. There were no marks on my face, as far as I could tell. My high cheekbones and narrow, angular jaw were void of injury. Both my hazel eyes stared back at me in wide horror, searching for signs of injury upon my tall nose and open mouth. There was blood to be sure, but no gashes, cuts or other visible sources. Dipping my head to the left I looked up into my hair and finally found what I was looking for. A long, curving cut started in the hairline above my temple and stretched nearly to my ear. As if finding the wound had refreshed the pain, I winced and cradled my head. What on earth could have done that?

I leaned past the edge of the counter and over the toilet, reaching for the roll of toilet paper mounted on the side of the cupboards. My hand hit the empty tube. I looked down at the empty tube in disbelief for just a moment before sharply intaking a breath and baring my teeth. Just once! Just once, I would have loved to see a fresh new roll on that cursed tube. I didn't think it unreasonable to ask that of my roommates, and if they had gotten it right just this one time I would have utterly and wholeheartedly forgiven them for any and all suffering they had ever caused me in the realm of toilet paper deprivation. Instead I ended up cursing them and vowing my retribution would be swift while I grabbed a blue towel off the rack and balled it up to place over my gashed head. Returning to the mirror, I looked at myself once more, pulling the towel back a couple of times to examine the rate of bloodloss. It didn't seem too bad, if anything my towel work was threatening to re-open the mostly clotted wound, but the soft pressure felt good so I kept the towl applied as I went back into the hall. I suddenly realized how normal the moment had become. My body and mind had gone back into routine, pulled out of the confusion of my awakening.

I paused for a moment on the precipice of the corner dividing the hallway from the kitchen, unsure of my destination. My mental faculties starting to work things through, I leaned heavily on the wall and gathered my thoughts. The doggy door lay sprawled in the hall, askew and partially raised like a poorly made lean to. To the left was my kitchen, I could see the light from what I assumed was the morning coming in through the solitary kitchen window. All the lights were off, I realized, but there was certainly enough light to see clearly. There was a mostly dried pool of blood on the linoleum less than a yard from where I stood. The pool was smeared slightly and a despairing look down told me I had dragged my foot through it on my way to the washroom. That train of thought and scrutiny led me to a full body examination. I held out my arms and angled the front of my brown striped sweater slightly to find dark stains on both, spotches of stiff material that I could only assume was more dried blood. The knee of my light blue jeans was ripped, my flesh beneath skinned and raw. There was dried mud on the sides of my brown dress shoes, which I found odd as I observed. There was no other mud on my clothes, except on the back cuffs of my jeans hanging on the back of my shoes. I wasn't dressed for cross country travel. Brushing here and there on my body to try to improve things I finally realized the effort was futile and made up my mind to head to my room where I could get out of these tattered and bloody rags and hopefully figure out the extent of my injuries.

Still analyzing the remains of my outfit, my body went back into automation as I shuffled down the hall and pushed through the half opened door to my room. The soccer poster on my door fluttered as air snaked in behind it and I heard a familiar whine from my bed. Dante! The dog's head came up at the same time mine did, but there was no excitement to his expression and no further movement. Just a sad, flat, unblinking look as his gaze fixed me and his furrowed brow locked. I started to realise he was not alone on the bed and the rest of the room began to come into focus. Everything in the room seemed as I had left it, disheveled but relatively tidy. The closet was open on one side with some dirty clothes seeping out from the dirty clothes bin. The desk in the corner which harbored my computer was cluttered with banking pages and opened envelopes, not to mention books, candy and memorabilia. The bed seemed as I had left it as well, with one very large difference...

An old poem, written to rescue others which is ending up rescuing me...

2007-05-21T21:24:00.000-07:00

The solitude of life glitters in an empty sea born of hope
creation dangles promise on a ruthless horizon
as we sense fulfillment coming but never arriving.
To ask a question of oneself is to persue perfection,
salvations' journey being one of inscrutable scrutiny,
an evasive answer that is essentially defined by the journey.
But to understand is to accept that we do not.
Nearsighted, relinquish your desire to identify the blurry void
stretching before you.
Instead, accept your limitations and realize that you have
labelled them falsely
For it is paradoxes that weave the world;
strength laced and buried in gold.
Unkempt words can be like thorns in the mind,
But a thorn has the power to wake us from even the deepest
slumber.

Be still, and know that He is God. And He loves you.

Mother's Day

2007-05-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

Who am I? I am a compilation of all the people I have ever met. A mosaic constructed of my companions and expanded by my experiences. There are two people I can finger who have had the most contact with me in my lifetime, and therefore the most direct influence over my character. But only one of them showed me more about who I am through their accomplishments and faithfulness than through their mistakes. That person is my mother.

I am unsure how much I can attribute to her influence, but I suspect that the sum is far more than I could ever name. I know that she sang to me as a child, and now I love music. I know that she hugged me tightly and told me that everything would be all right, and now a hug feels special and comforting. I know that she was faithful to family and to the Lord while she raised me, and now I value family and Lord as she did.

I have not yet been a father so I can't speak from experience as to what a parent feels for a child. I can only speak as a child and describe what this child perceives that a mother feels for her child. This child believes that his mother would do anything for him, give anything that she had to support him if she believed it would make a difference in his life. This child believes that his mother will never leave or abandon him, no matter how far she travels or who enters into her life. This child believes that his mother is faithful to the Lord and will never cease to help him understand that the Lord is good and brings salvation and strength into his life. This child believes that his mother will never give up and will always persevere through thick and thin.

My mother left some very touching memories within me and when I reflect upon them I am filled with confidence. To know that the blood of my mother is within my veins is to know that I was destined for fatherhood, that I am secure in passing on a legacy of greatness.

"As the deer pantheth for, the water O my soul longeth after thee,
You O Lord are my hearts, desire and I long, to worship thee,
You O Lord are my strength my shield,
To you alone may my spirit yeild,
You O Lord are my hearts, desire and I long, to worhip you."

I finally found psalm 42 which had to be the inspiration for the first line of this song... you always did love the psalms mom.

You sang this to me as a child, probably bearing the hope that someday it would hit home that the song is more than just a bedtime tune or a pretty melody. I'd like to tell you that your hope has hit home, and it is more than just the song that I have learned. Age has a way of portenting understand, and every day I get older I seem to realize more of what you did for me. Each day I become more thankful for the foundation you built in my life. I will spend the rest of my life hoping to make you proud, for I know that in your eyes lies the favor of the Lord as well.

I leave you with a final portion of psalm, mom, with the assurance that you have taught me this verse even though you may not have said the words. Psalm 119, spoken by Taw, verses 169-176.

"May my cry come before you, O Lord; give me understanding according to your word. May my supplication come before you; deliver me according to your promise. May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees. May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous. May your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts. I long for your salvation, O Lord, and your law is my delight. Let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not fogotten your commands."

Wrapping up

2007-05-09T23:07:00.000-07:00

Now I feel as though I have come to the end of something important, and the hardest part is before me. The last 2 series' of posts I went through was an evaluation of what the core of my life is, breaking down my world to the barest of forms and coming out as a newborn ready to face the world with newly defined principles and a new hope. My hope is to be able to keep that spiritual framework as the centre of my focus, to build and toil and grow my life in a partnership with God and allow myself to develop. But the hardest part is realizing that the end of the building of this framework is the beginning of dwelling in the framework. The first step in a life with God that will bring excitement, beauty, sorrow and loss... but through it all, joy that the I am what the Lord has made me, and fulfilled that I am able to call him my friend and companion and father.
I have just finished taking a brief hiatus from writing while entertaining a guest in my household, then visiting my sister in Oklahoma. The trip was an amazing experience and such a joyful period in my life. I'm so proud of the girl! I had thought that spending two days travelling to cash in one day of visiting my sister was absolute madness. Upon my return, however, I could not be more fulfilled with my experience, the people I met and the all encompassing grace of God that left me safe, secure and blessed in my travels.

Tiffany, your brilliance is a radiance of spirit that is your trusted companion, warming a room like a heating vent. Your walk is confidence, stupefying bystanders in your wake... rather than leaving others cowed by their own perceived inadequacy you inspire others to aspire for their own self-assurance and climb to heights you yet reach for. "Join me" your character calls, "and let us reach together for the stars". To have witnessed first hand your struggle through recent years and lent ear to your pains imparts unique insight into what you have accomplished. You have become strong in adversity and patient of tongue, ripe in wisdom and unbound by if not untouched by fear. Your degree is paper but your person is proof of graduation. The world lies before you and soon you set off to conquer it. The love of your family follows you, may it lend wing to you overseas and bring you safely home.

The Way The World Works - Part 8

2007-05-02T21:10:00.000-07:00

Summary: God creates a partnership to complete us. A woman, created of flesh brought to life with the breath of God.

Genesis 2:20.5-25
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said,

"This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man."

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Application: God goes through all of his creation, but finds no suitable helper for man. No relationship worthy of the support that man needs. So out of man, God creates woman. Of one flesh with man and undeniably a part of him. In this passage God makes it clear that he intended for man and woman to be a partnership. Brought to life by the breath of God. God tells us right from the beginning that marriage and the relationship between a man and a woman is under his blessing and is a strong part of our development and growth.
To me, this is the first marriage, with God giving us away as the father. He says himself that a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. This is not God's ticket to vanish, leaving man in the hands of woman. But it is God's ticket to see man completed in body and in spirit. Man's partnership is man's completion, the partnership between man and woman being the essential ingredient in God's creation of humanity. He even leaves them with a parting wisdom for their marriage in mentioning that both man and woman were naked and they felt no shame.
This final wisdom of God in this passage is the basic truth of marriage. To be naked to one another, without secrets and without shame. To fully understand the entirety of your mate and be one flesh. To share all that is intimate and expose yourself completely to the other person. If we make a choice to be the people that God intended us to be from creation, there should be no reason to feel shame. We should be delighted to be just as God intended... what do we have to hide?

The Way The World Works - Part 7

2007-04-29T22:36:00.000-07:00

Summary: God honors our rule of the earth by allowing us to name the creatures, in the same way we must rule the relationships in our life.

Genesis 2:19-23
Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.

Application: Upon creation, God told man to rule over all the living creatures of the Earth. God brings that honor to fruition in this passage. He gathers all of the animals on the earth to give Adam the honor of naming them. There is power in naming. Naming gives everything unique identity and ongoing familiarity. In a way, it is like creation in that it brings something's identity into the world of a person. In all of these ways we can surmise that a name is an essential ingredient in relationship.

God's first guidance in our life is setting up our principles and giving us a home. God's second guidance was to show us he would be with us wherever we went. God's third guidance was to tell us to stay away from evil. God's fourth guidance is to name (to identify and familiarize ourselves) the people around us. A man must rule over the relationships in his life. It is a man's responsibility to care for, to provide guidance and direction for, the people he is in relationship with. We must learn the names of the people around us and be involved in their life. God trusts that we will rule kindly and justly.

The Way The World Works - Part 6

2007-04-28T22:41:00.000-07:00

Summary: God created us for relationship and knows the desires of our heart.

Genesis 2:18
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Application: God created us for relationship with Him. He gave us free will to allow us to be willing participants in relationship with Him. He wants nothing more than another person that shares His love for all that is good. But He also created us to be human... whatever that entails, he could see that our happiness would not be complete and we would not be able to thrive. To solve this, God decided upon a helper. God knows the desires of our hearts, and he wants to bless us. Going back to the space we have created, the area that we develop in partnership with God, God gives all of us a helper to share the load. He seems to say to himself "I love you so very much that I am going to make you even happier by making it easier for you to do your share in the partnership that will grow your life. Here is a helper, from me to you". In your life, trust that God has a helper in store for you to share your load and he will give it to you when the need is in your heart. He knows the desires of your heart, count on it. And he wants to bless you!

The Way The World Works - Part 5

2007-04-28T00:50:00.000-07:00

Summary: Our free will is a gift from God. God commands us to stay away from evil, but he does not remove it from our presence... he trusts us to choose good.

Genesis 2:15-17
The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when youeat of it you will surely die."

Application: The first of God's commands for our life starts right in the centre. There is evil in the world. We know both good and evil exists. God now affirms to us in the form of a command that good and evil exists. All the fruit within the garden is good, the Lord explains, except for this one tree that bears the fruit of both. It resides in our centre, one of the forces that drives us and is the root of all decisions we make. Leave it at the core says the Lord, do not eat of it, eat the good fruit that is all around you. If you heed my warning you will choose to leave the good and evil fruit at your core and continue to choose the good fruit I have provided. In doing so you will surely live. But if you choose to eat of the fruit containing evil, you will suffer and die.

This is God giving us choice, then telling us to choose right. He does what I believe was a very hard thing for God; He chooses to let us make our own choice as to whether we will live with him in his way and enjoy life abundant or stray from his way and die. He trusts us enough to give us the choice, but out of love He commands us to stay away from the tree. An order, for our own good. I am honored to believe that God believes in me enough to let me choose to live with Him in His way.

The Way The World Works - Part 4

2007-04-26T22:20:00.000-07:00

Summary: God may give us a home but he will be with us wherever we choose to go.

Genesis 2:10-14
A river Watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters. The name of the first is Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold. (The gold of that land is good; aromatic resin and onyx are also there.) The name of the second river is Gihon; it winds through the entire land of Cush. The name of the third river is the Tigris; it runs along the east side of Asshur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.

Application: The river runs out of our home (God's blessing and provision) into the unknown. To me this is God saying, "there is more out there, I'll provide for you if you want to leave". It is the road to discovery. God provides an abundant source of water (his portion of the growth process within our world) out of Eden, saying "When you are ready, follow the river out into the world. The world is yours for the taking, you may leave at any time and use the water to grow anywhere you like. Anyplace in your space is good, feel free to pick your path. The river does not just head in one direction, God is not forcing us one way. The river leads to different lands, puts the choice in our hands as to which way we want to travel. Our world is our domain, ready to explore and claim as we see fit. God will provide the water. His living water doesn't pin us down, it branches out and goes wherever we need it.

The Way The World Works - Part 3

2007-04-25T23:08:00.000-07:00

Summary: God gives us a home and sets up our core principles for success.

Genesis 2:8-9
Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground---trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Application: God puts the entire world at our disposal... but he doesn't force it all upon us at once. It would be a little overwhelming. His first action is to give us a home. A place of safety and security where all we need is set up for us. He does the first part for us. He grows beauty and provides us with our first experieneces, examples of what the world can look like and eventually create ourselves. He wants us to succeed and to see what we need to strive for, what the upkeep of the world can produce if we are willing to try for it.

Not only does he provide a home of safety and security filled with his blessings for us, he organizes it in such a way that we can understand it. At the centre of all that God provides stands the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of Good and evil. He shows us that these two pillars should be at the core of our world, that they stand at the centre of beauty and all that God has for us. We must have life and live it abundantly, the life that only God provides. And we must be haters of evil and lovers of good. The difference between good and evil should be at the core of all our decisions, the determining path for which way we set out in life.

The Way The World Works - Part 2

2007-04-25T00:20:00.000-07:00

Summary: Everything in our world is God's.

Genesis 2:7
the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

Application: Our bodies were formed from the dust of the earth... does that mean man was made alive through the forming of lifeless ground? Not at all! The living being did not arise from the dust. We must examine the verse more carefully. The purpose of this verse in not to attach our mind to the idea that man is created from earth. The purpose of this verse is to free our minds from thinking our forming out of dust has anything to do with life. It outlines the separation between being formed physically from the world and being made ALIVE by the breath of God. The physical side of us is nothing but dust... but instilled with the breath of life from God we are LIVING beings. What does this mean to us? Let us follow the ideas through logically... if the life of man comes from the breath of God... and it is our being alive that grows life upon the earth... all life, all that we produce with our toil, came from the breath of God. So where do we turn when we feel lifeless and empty, to the world or to God? Who do we thank for our success, and how do we celebrate it? Who really has the ownership of all that we own, all that we possess? Free your minds, the earth has no stake in anything produced by your life. So keep only the portion of God's blessing that you need and let God claim the rest. Ask him how he'd like to spend it!

The Way The World Works - Part 1

2007-04-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

Summary: Our world runs on a partnership of trust between man and God.

Genesis 2:4-6
This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created.

When the Lord God made the earth and the heavens---and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the Lord God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to work the ground, but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground---

Application: When God created the earth He created potential. The earth had everything it needed to fulfill the potential of God's design except for 2 essential ingredients. Water to feed it and man to cultivate it. When we create our new life as displayed in 'The Beginning' series, the same principles apply. Our new life has potential for being the pure life of God's design. But our new life will not grow on it's own, not even with a foundation of people that offer their support and people to share our space with. These people that surround us and the fruit that grows out of our foundation will die off without upkeep and our space will end up barren and empty. To obtain a full life above and and beyond a new life, there is an upkeep. The upkeep is water and work.

The Lord is always willing to meet us halfway. There is God's part, and then there is our part. If man was naturally able to trust, our part would be easy. But often, as the bible repeatedly points out, our lack of trust makes our part very difficult. I point this out now because the first part of the upkeep requires alot of trust. God will provide water to make things grow in the world and in our lives.

The water comes from God. Man has no part in it's creation, we receive it as a gift from God. The water will be provided and will never stop, so long as we want it and so long as we need it, which is forever and always. The only part of this upkeep we can participate in is to harness the water into effective areas, which will help things grow better and more efficiently. But God provides the basic tool for all growth. Harnessing the water also is a prelude to the second part of the upkeep, as we harness the water into areas that need the largest quantity or the places that require alot of water due to our work.

The work comes from man. It the effort of man that feeds a family, that tills the earth and sows the seed. We work the land in order to sustain ourselves and support the ones we love, to extend and develop our life. God designed us well for the work that is required, bestowing us with knowledge, creativity, strength, passion, tools for performing the tasks that are required by the world and in our new lives. We sow seed and till earth in the trust that God will water our efforts and grow what we need for a fruitful and sustainable life. The parternship is completed through our continual effort to improve and upkeep our space and our determination to keep it from ending up barren and empty.

The Beginning - Part 8

2007-04-22T23:54:00.000-07:00

Creating a new life in me.

Day 8: Now our new life is set up for a good start at success. It is not the end of the battle, but it is time to wait on the Lord and reflect on what we have accomplished, assured in our faith that the lord will bless us. And he will.

Genensis 2:1-3
Thus the heavens and earth were completed in all their vast array.

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

Action Plan: Take it easy, reflect on what you have done, and rest easy in the knowledge that Gods got your life in hand.

(it's my mom's birthday today, HAPPY B-DAY MOMALOO! You guided me to my new life in the Lord, helped me set up my space and define it, and are with me in my foundation! I'd like to earn a spot in yours. May the Lord bless you today and always!)

The Beginning - Part 7

2007-04-22T00:56:00.000-07:00

Creating a new life in me.

Day 7: Foundation relationships and Ownership. Our space cannot be maintain with our will alone, especially with the relationships in the waters below threating to drown us if we get too attached. So He does not leave the earth barren, merely a solid, supporting platform. Instead, he popuplates it with creatures. In our new life we are creating it is Him blessing our foundation with relationships, people that speak into our lives and support us. People we lean on when we need a hand or our spirit needs strengthening. The the Lord gives us ownership and dominion over them. They are our relationships to manage, we are resposnible for each one and accountable for each one lost. We have ownership and with ownership comes responsibility. He gives us all that is to support us, in every aspect of whatever we need. But we must also respect these gifts and care for them.

Genesis 1:24-31
And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so. God made the wild animals according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruiful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground--- everything that has breath of life in it---I give every green plant for food." And it was so.
God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning---the sixth day.

Action Plan: Pray for your family and the people you have met that are good friends in Christ, that God would guide and protect them and keep them safe. Thank God for blessing you with all that you have, for all that he has give you. Do it right now, wherever you are reading this. If your family or friends have fallen away, or out of touch, get back in touch with them. If they are not unified, work towards unifying them. They are your responsibility and your foundation. By keeping them safe you are obeying God, keeping them safe and helping yourself in your battle against sin. Keep your foundation close to your side, you are going to need them... guaranteed.

The Beginning - Part 6

2007-04-20T23:20:00.000-07:00

Creating a new life in me.

Day 6: Relationships. Understand that God did not leave the world empty. The air he created was meant to be filled, to be enjoyed by creatures that swoop and soar in all directions, that live in and enjoy the air. So too is the space that is our new life to be shared with others, filled up with people that love what we have created and want to soar within it. We support them with our space and we help them to fly. As well, the creatures that dwell in the sea are not to be forgotten. They dwell in the waters of the earth and are as important (if not more important) as the relationships within the boundaries of our space. Our space is the only link they have to water in the heavens, and we must work hard to keep our space open and visible so that the relationships in the water below might one day end up with their own space and access to the waters above. Both of these kinds of creatures were called to be fruitful and fill the water and the seas, as our relationships are called to be fruitful and fill up our lives. Only the birds were called to increase on the Earth, as they are the workers within the space. The workload is big and the workers are few, so we must increase.

Genesis 1:20-23
And God said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let the birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky." So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to it's kind. And God saw that it was good. God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water and the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth." And there was evening, and there was morning---the fifth day.

Action Plan: Think about someone you have taken for granted. Think about the people you haven't allowed access into your life. Think about people you have been in contact with that seem alone or struggling with something. In order to create life in and beneath your space, you need to open up your borders and take relationships in. Allow relationships to be fruitful in your life by choosing 3 people you have had the opportunity to love but you have chosen not to. Instead, make the conscious decision to love them in whatever way you can think of. Saying hello and talking to them would be a good start. You'll be surprised how fruitful these 3 relationships can be and how quickly they multiply once the borders around your space have opened up.

The Beginning - Part 5

2007-04-19T23:19:00.000-07:00

Creating a new life in me.

Day 5: Structure. Understand that God brings us clarity and order. God sheds light onto all of our uncertainty, our daily problems. He gives us points of references and laws which act as beacons to separate the good from the bad, even when things are at their darkest he provides light to show us the way through. The Lord also provides the gift of time, which brings diversity and progression to life and makes all of our moments precious. He blesses us with time to give us perspective, so that we might learn and constantly improve based upon where we have been and where we are headed. He allows us to grow.

Genesis 1:14-19
And God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth." And it was so. God made two great lights---the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. God set them in the expanse of sky to give light on the earth, to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning---the fourth day.

Action Plan: This is about analysis and experience. Think of five situations in which you have done wrong in the past. How could these have been avoided. What does the bible say about these issues and what does it suggest to counteract them. Choose to say a prayer and make a promise to yourself each morning. That if God will bless you with clarity (the ability to see the heart of matters and the right and wrong inherent within) that you will choose to act towards the good. There is no way to achieve perfect preparedness for all situations. This section of creating a new life is about equipping yourself with as much of God's word as you can so that you will be able to spot the light in the darkest of times, and also about choosing to improve yourself daily by heading towards the light.

The Beginning - Part 4

2007-04-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

Creating new life in me.

Day 4: Foundation. Understand that God will provide the needs of your life within the space. We cannot live in the water, so the lord provides us with dry ground, a firm foundation to support us and allow us to build from. From the ground all manner vegetation springs forth, sustaining us with their fruits and sustaining themselves with the seeds that scatter throughout the ground and start new life to sustain others. This is the development of trust, knowing that your space has foundation, solidity beneath it that will sustain you. The Lord is with you, and he will provide. Your space is secure, you have nothing to fear.

Genesis 1:9-13
And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. God Called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw that it was good. Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kind." And it was so. The land produced vegetation; plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning---the third day.

Action Plan: Give of yourself and watch how you prosper. Tithe (give money to the church and to areas that you feel God calling you to support), as hard as it may be with however much money you have. Spend a day giving time to others or working hard, tirelessly, for a full day. Watch how the lord refreshes you with a deep sleep and blesses your basic needs. Take account of how you feel aftwer doing so. Do anything that is good that would be hard for you to normally do because of your attachement to the way the world works. Hopefully this will help break you of some habits that you didn't know you had.

The Beginning - Part 3

2007-04-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

Creating a new life in me.

Day 3: Breathing. Discovering your purpose and defining your living space. Take the facts from the first two days; that you are living for God and you understand that there is good and evil in the world. Now you can set up parameters for living, a space that is filled with your principles and character that you can use as a guide for the day to day choices of your life. This space is edged by the living water of God above, which gives our spirits life, and the physical water of the world below, which gives our bodies life. In between is the 'air', the place that God designed for us to live and breathe. It is the area for you to live the life that God has called you to, where you can breathe in the sustaining love of God.

Genesis 1:6-8
And God said, "Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water." So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so. God called the expanse "sky." And there was evening, and there was morning---the second day.

Action Plan: This is about getting in touch with yourself and identifying what's inside your heart... ask yourself 5 questions.
1) Why am I alive?
2) What is my purpose?
3) Who needs to know God?
4) When does God need me?
5) How does God want me to live?
6) Where can I learn to understand?
The answer to the last question is the bible. If you could not find the answers to the rest within yourself, the bible holds them all. The Word is our air, it is the guide for living in our space between the spiritual living water of Christ and body nourishing water of the world.

The Beginning - Part 2

2007-04-17T01:03:00.000-07:00

Creating a new life in me.

Day 2: Awakening. Identifying the difference between light and dark, good and bad, right and wrong. Understand that there is a separation between that which God says will bring us life and prosperity and that which God says will bring us death and destruction. Don't focus on specifics or look at any grey areas that may exist between light and dark. The first step is to delight in the things you can deem good and hate the things you can deem evil. Establishing this difference at a basic level is very important, before anything else crowds in and starts blurring the line.

Genesis 1:3-5
'And God said, "Let there be light." and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning---the first day.'

Action Plan: Think of five good things (shown love to God or another human being) that have you have done recently. If you have not done five good things in the last week, go out and do good things until you have 5. Do these things as anonymously as possible. Every even hour throughout the day, think about the good things you have done and smile about them. Recall them in your mind and delight in knowing that God is smiles down from heaven when he watches you show love to someone. Imagine how you would feel if these things were done to you. After dwelling on good things, think of five bad things (caused hurt to God or another human being) that you have done recently. Every odd hour throughout the day, think about the bad things you have done and get angry at them. Admit to yourself that these actions only hurt yourself and others. Imagine how you would feel if these things were done to you. Hate the fact that you did these things to someone else. Before the end of the day, try to rectify these actions.

The beginning - Part 1

2007-04-17T00:46:00.000-07:00

Creating a new life in me.

Day 1: Background. Where have we come from? Initially we must understand the difference between man and God (remember, "God" is capitalized for a reason). There is the world, and then there is heaven. Do you live for God or for man? Do you live for the world or for heaven? You cannot live for both, they are separate entities, separate places created specifically apart by God at the dawn of creation.

Genesis 1:1-2
'In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, the spirit of God was hovering over the waters.'

Action Plan: Choose God. Give your day entirely to the Lord. Do nothing but spend time with him, in his word and in conversation and quietness with him. Ask him what he wants in your life, praise him for your creation and for the way you have been wonderfully made. Take the day off and remind yourself that the hang ups on this earth will be temporary but life in heaven is eternal. Transform your stress into worship.